Too Much Time Makes A Girl A Psycho...
It's been almost a month & I'm still unemployed, which is kinda taking up every waking thought in my life right now. I'm running out of money & options so a move may be my only hope in finding gainful employment... I have very mixed emotions about this prospect as I've started to plant myself, for once & yet I may have to leave lots of people that I love. Not that there aren't plenty of people that I love & adore in Dallas but it's different. J & A, you know you are & I miss both of you sooo much!
Up to this point, never in my life would my friends or family describe me as a person who wants to be planted & grounded in the same place. I'm quite the opposite & always have been. From the first time, I ever signed a lease for a year w/out totally freaking out, to having a long engagment, which led to a short marriage that I don't regret because I'm such a better person from it,to my last position being the longest I've ever worked for a company... My point, not well written is that I've always been a gypsy of sorts & a commit-a-phobic. I don't know what to do at this point as I keep assigning deadlines in my head, only to set another one.
This is the one & final one though. If I don't have something by next week, I will be begging Bunny to crash on her couch & try to whore myself to every agency in the Metroplex. As much as I love Bunny & miss her, the thought of moving back to town gives me mixed emotions. Nothing to do with her but sometimes just being there reminds me of a totally & completely different life that has been over for quite sometime now. Everyone I know there is connected to someone who is no longer a part of my life & I can't really put it into words, how I feel when I think about that. The reason I left in the first place was to try & separate myself from that & make something different happen. Just lots of mixed emotions about being back there.
I know blogs are generally light & fluffy but I am what I am & maybe too honest but it's all I've got right now.
Up to this point, never in my life would my friends or family describe me as a person who wants to be planted & grounded in the same place. I'm quite the opposite & always have been. From the first time, I ever signed a lease for a year w/out totally freaking out, to having a long engagment, which led to a short marriage that I don't regret because I'm such a better person from it,to my last position being the longest I've ever worked for a company... My point, not well written is that I've always been a gypsy of sorts & a commit-a-phobic. I don't know what to do at this point as I keep assigning deadlines in my head, only to set another one.
This is the one & final one though. If I don't have something by next week, I will be begging Bunny to crash on her couch & try to whore myself to every agency in the Metroplex. As much as I love Bunny & miss her, the thought of moving back to town gives me mixed emotions. Nothing to do with her but sometimes just being there reminds me of a totally & completely different life that has been over for quite sometime now. Everyone I know there is connected to someone who is no longer a part of my life & I can't really put it into words, how I feel when I think about that. The reason I left in the first place was to try & separate myself from that & make something different happen. Just lots of mixed emotions about being back there.
I know blogs are generally light & fluffy but I am what I am & maybe too honest but it's all I've got right now.
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