Rantings Of A Cornflake Girl...

I so need something to get me out of this funk that I'm in. I don't know if it's the weather, work or a combo of everything but I feel like I'm so freaking stressed out right now & I don't know about what. Last night the boy had his friend over & I left because I just wanted to be alone. I hate when I get in that kinda mode but I'm there.

Ugh! I just want to scream right now. Feeling like a total freak because this isn't normal for me as I'm normally the happy girl & right now, I'm just pissy! Sorry but that's the way it is & I'm hoping I crawl out of this black hole soon...

Going to hibernate for a while & get over myself...

I'm in a mood today & no, it's not PMS! Just in a mood & feel like telling everyone to piss off. Actually told my sales person that I'm assigned to that I'm sick of doing his job & I'm just not going to do it anymore, so call me Peter. Also a good sign that I need to start looking for a new job. Every few months I go through this but it's seriously time to change my career path or at least get back on one!

I love you all but you can all:

Shove Off!
or
Piss Off!

At least today & tomorrow is a different story! Peace out...

Ok, I must share... Scott bought a cd that I'm loving right now. If you love, love, love the Cure, which I do, check out VHS or Beta. They are amazing & I'm loving it because the voice is vaguely Robert Smithish & it's waaaayyyyy, waaaayyyyy cool! Happy, happy, happy!

Gotta keep with the numbers theme today & everything bad happens in 3's so you must suffer!

Monday, Monday, monday. I loathe them with a passion & long for Fridays. Nothing all that wonderful to speak of today. The weekend was great & now it's back to the daily grind. Actually, today has been slow so I've haven't done much in the way of work. For whatever reason I'm feeling the need to be more responsible, so I'm trying to figure out how much I owe & to what credit card companies & get those paid off. Again nothing fun but it would be good for me today.

I keep hearing that today is supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, statistically. Kinda weird how everything goes back to numbers & formulas...

I'm sooooo happy today is finally here! Scott is coming home tonight & I can hardly contain myself as it's been a week and a half. I anxiously await his return. In other news, I have spent the last 3 nights at my house, which is a huge step for me. Yeah for me.

Nothing else really that I feel like sharing right now. I'm thrilled it's Friday & that my boy is coming home! This weekend we won't be answering the phone & will be putting up the do not disturb door hanger...

I've got nothing today, people.

I don't know if it's due to the cold weather & feeling like I'm stuck inside all the time or what, but I'm getting so restless. I'm not one of those people who anyone would ever describe as planted. I have to point out that I feel that planted and grounded are two very different kinds of being. My nature is more like a gypsy or so I think. I could be totally happy living out of a suitcase/backpack & traveling the world over. I would like to think that I'm less concerned with collecting stuff and would choose an experience over a worldly posession any day of the week.

I haven't done anything in such a long time or gone anywhere & I'm getting restless being the same place. I really want to do something fun this year & go somewhere. Would love to go to Europe this year. I need to get away & have fun! Scott won't be taking anytime off until around this time next year so I'm extending an invite to any of the peops who are interested. I'm thinking either July or September & a few cities in Europe. Bunny, Scotti or any other peops let me know if you're in.

Other than wanting to plan a grand adventure, I'm tapped out.

I've got a case of the Mondays! I soooo don't want to be here today but I must as it pays the bills. My weekend was rather uneventful & drama free which is how I like it. Sorry for all the trauma and drama in your life right now, Bunny Rabit. I dropped off the sister & nieces & nephew at the airport Saturday morning & said the goodbye's which was really sad but hopefully will be a good thing, for them. I'm hoping everything works out for all of them.

I felt like poo because of the crazy weather in Oklahoma right now, so it was way low key. Was able to stay in jammies most of the weekend which was fine with me. However, I'm totally convinced that we need a dog because it would make staying by myself much easier & I really miss having a dog. Scott is still in Kansas City, which sucks & our phone bill is going to be crazy. At first, it was a good idea because we needed to miss each other but now I miss him & can't wait to see him this Friday.

My heart goes out to my bunny friend right now. She is being attacked over something that is totally ridiculous & absurd. I don't understand why people feel better attacking another person & just being a hater in general. Don't get be wrong, I can be a be-ach at times but I don't like when I'm like that. Usually feel emotional & physically drained after going there.

All I can say, is that if someone is into your boy or your girl take it for what it is. Harmless flattery that feeds their ego & nothing more. People be secure in your relationships & in yoursevles! Your significant other needs to be reminded that they've still got it, on occasion. If someone says something to them, be chill & remember they are with you because they want to be not because they have to be.

One of my favorite u2 songs is, "Hold On To Love", & there a verse that says something like, "I love you not because I want to but because I understand that God has given me your hand. I Love you not because I need to but because I need YOU" It's a beautiful song about love & being with someone because you were meant to be with them not just because you are.

People, chill out, relax & take everything with a grain of salt or my favorite, a glass of wine. Everything doesn't have to be this complicated or ridiculous! Have fun & don't waste your karma being a hater!

I just got out of a meeting that I expected to be a disaster, however, it went really well, so I'm happy about that. A little sad as I took Scott to the airport this morning, as he's gotta go to training for two weeks. Actually, that may be good too, as we may need to miss each other a little. The absence makes the great grow fonder b.s. comes to mind but it's totally true also.

Also, found out that my three beautiful nieces & gorgeous nephew are moving to Portland, Oregon this weekend. One of my sister's, who happens to be the freaky one is getting remarried & moving, this weekend. I'm sad as I love the nieces & will miss them more than I can say.... I'm hoping that the sista gets her crap together & finds happiness.

BTW, I chopped my hair over the weekend. Actually, I didn't do it but had someone else do it, obviously. It's only been this short maybe one or two other times in my life. I'm loving it & may feel the need to take a pic & post it. I have to do a few photo albums for the nieces this week & take pics, so I may post some of those. We shall see....

Currently, I'm sitting in my office with U2 in the background, which makes for a very happy Care Bear. Today is a wonderful day & I'm very happy & feel very blessed. I know, I've said this before & I repeat myself quite often, however, it's true.

Today I'm thankful that:
Zero is doing better & the tumor is shrinking
Even though my job bites at times, some of the people are great
Susan is my sister! I love her so much & miss her!
Everyday is a new day & a chance to do everything over again & maybe get it right.